The bounce back up.

Oh man does it feel good to feel good again.

Hi, I'm Christopher Craven; you may remember me from my blog posts such as "How I rescued humanity from an epidemic of miniature horses" and "Don't go putting thing's where they're not supposed to."

If, and that is a rather normal looking if, composed of an I, and an f. Even in the correct order too, you had been following my posts you would have seen a rather abysmal portrayal of teen angst in an early 20's guy. I'm sure it was cringe inducing for you to read, and I applaud you managed to avoid pulling your internal organs out through your own bellybutton (innie, outie,  they all pierce through with a blade all the same) whilst smashing your head against against a stereo playing Miley Cyrus's 'I came in like a wrecking ball'.

Today, it may have started average with little to no motivation, but sure enough the smallest social interactions have lifted my mood, which has left me realizing this is a valuable tool in getting myself to be in a better mindset to take on life.

This may be hard to believe, but yes, if you consider yourself a socialite, and you then preceeded to not allow anyone to talk to you, it will leave you sitting in an endless cycle of your own mantra telling you that there's nothing worth getting up to try and do to feel better, because right now you obviously feel like crap, so this is how you should feel.

From a logical standpoint,  thus is a very irrational way of thinking,  but humans are not robots,  and our day to day moods impact our daily choices more than most people may realize. I had outside influences out of my control leaving me to feel down. Logically doing something to improve said mood makes sense,  but the brain doesn't work like that with emotions.
If you're confident,  in a positive,  reflective mood, your choices will be more based on continuing that feel good progression. 
If you're down, wanting to feel better, you begin different trains of thought,  starting it's own cycle of letting you make decisions which further, and further your downward spiral.

But why? Don't we prefer being happy over feeling miserable? Why would the human brain encourage us to feel bad once we start feeling bad?
There are scientific answers to these questions, as well as psychological ones, and I will be going more into depth about my analysis of how a downward spiral begins, why it is so hard to stop, and what is the best thing to do to lift yourself up.

Right now, I need to go and drop off more resumes, so feel free to follow if you are keen to see a psychological break down on the test subject: Me.

~So how did today go?

Better-er-er?
Once again, started off pretty good. Managed to edit up my resume, looks very profesh'

Ignoring your spelling, That's good.
Yeah, Printed off 12 copies, was going to go into town and apply and stuff.

But something stopped you again?
Yeah; myself, I thought about money again and the fuel to get into town etc.etc.

Couldn't you have caught the train in?
..Oh wow, yeah I could have.

But your mood didn't allow you?
Look, I don't like how my mood dictates what I do, and I'm trying to maintain thing's in my life so that i get more positive experiences around me than negative.

So how come you aren't able to get up and change those things?
Because a lot of them are small things that are out of my control. I know it's not worth fretting over such things, but when you're running only on your own motivation..

Yeah, don't worry I do get it, you don't want to 'blame' your old smoking habit, but it is likely that some repercussions have occurred from you having the habit for so long.
But I also know that it's not much better to identify something that DID cause an issue, and then pretend just identifying it is the same as fixing it.

SOoooooOooo Whatchuuu gunna do?
Well I have work in half an hour, I'm hoping when I come back from work, I'll focus on making a high quality video editing gameplay clips. Tomorrow I wish to keep the positive mood from tonight (hopefully) and use that to be in town tomorrow.

A'ight, well I'm allowing one more day of this. Then we will have to make some drastic changes.
Sure. But I would like to point out that it is difficult to strive when you don't feel the best.

Everyone goes through the motions, just focus on your goals.
A'ight.

Annddd Back down we goo...

...Falling down the rabbit hole...
Back down the rabbit hole..... Wait what happened? No you said you were going to be 100 percent this morning!

Yeah, I was, I had a shower, Shaved, got dressed, started planning the day for today..
So what the fuck happened to kill all that buzz?

Well, really if I think about it. Nothing's actually changed.
But you're in a 'downer' of a mood, SOMETHING must have changed.

A friend of mine, who I was sort of fooling around with just clearly defined to me that she would never be interested.
But you already knew that, she's told you before, how is this any different?

Because... even though I made changes in my behaviour to be less over bearing about it, I still got a message this morning about how I still "don't get it".
I get it, that doesn't mean I like it...
Well you can't exactly influence what makes someone attractive to them.

Which is why I shouldn't be effected like this..
But you are.

Should I do a summary of why?
I dunno man, That's a lot of backstory you'd have to explain, most of it from a time when it's irrelevant and bringing it up just looks like bringing up old scars and history from people.

But, I thought I set out to do this blog explaining every aspect of my life, I mean I publicly displayed illicit activities online, on this blog, in the belief that I should be honest an-
It was really more of a  "Wouldn't this blog be a great place for readers to find about you after you're famous? They can see what you were like when you were normal and poor like everyone else!

That's not really the reason is it?
I actually am not sure. But yeah it definitely feels like that was a possibility.

So whinging and moaning about relationships is a waste, are we on agreeance?
And the feeling lonely sometimes part too.

...Well I wasn't going to mention that :|
And now, it's there. Feel sorry, move on. What are you going to do to feel better?

My body feel's like it wants to crash into someone arms and just lay there...
Okay, something not desperate sounding and near impossible to achieve right now.

I wouldn't call it near impossible, just it'd have to be with a friend. it wouldn't be someone who viewed me more than that.
But, that's what you meant. Cuddling your female friends isn't the same as cuddling a partner, or someone who likes you more than a tad.

Yeah... Well I really need to shift this mood around.
You also need to be productive today.

Ha....