Emotional Scars.

Do you wonder if holding ourselves to a different set of standards to everyone else is a bigger cause behind our emotional damage than most of the life events you feel brought you to be how you are?

That was my thought.

You're thinking about lying to her.

A white lie. To protect her from going through unnecessary sobbing and whining about events that either aren't in my control, or are but I have chosen to not make any acts upon it.

Right. But if this were anyone else what would you be saying?

I'd be saying that a healthy relationship consists of mutual respect and communication.

So why are the rules different here?

Because, this is her first proper relationship. I can't hold her to the same standards as people who have done this before, been hurt before and know what to expect.

But don't you consider yourself the best boyfriend material ever? Why is there a fear that you'll hurt her?

I don't think it's so much I'm worried about hurting her...

..As much as if you hurt her, she might leave you.

...yeah...

Which kinda shows the selfishness of this relationship to you doesn't it?
What do you think she's getting out of this.

I don't know. It's hard to sift through which actions have naive motivations and which ones are actual feelings.

It sounds more like you're afraid of hearing someone say they don't like you as much as you like them.

That's a pretty legitimate fear ain't it?

~one 30 minute phone call with jen later~

Okay. It wasn't a legitimate fear. Because if I was going to be worried about someone possibly not having equal or similar feelings for me, then my only other alternative is to deliberately stay alone and bitter.
There's always going to be a risk no matter who you try to be with. No relationship has a risk free plan where you feel comfortable about every aspect of your romantic lives, and if you are its only because you are choosing to be blissfully ignorant. You can't make that last a lifetime no matter how well you can lie to yourself.