Ramble

Ok 3 posts in 20 minutes, I'm sorry, I have to, I'm getting edgy sitting here not typing, not getting it out of my system, and running around outside kicking thing's doesn't seem healthier.
I appear to be living in two worlds at the moment, the world where I am told how it is, told what will become, told what really just happened, and told why certain events are occuring. the problem is is that that world conflicts with the second world, the one I'm seeing from my own eyes.

I've been Told why I'm doing something, how I'm going to benefit, where in life this will make thing's grander, greater and open up my doors to a supposive life I could live.
SO how come my life is so restricted. I'm being told the thing's I can do, are priviledges, I should be SO thankful that i can go to this person's house, go to that person's BBQ. And be told that's ridiculous if you think you're seeing her, or going to that party, dream on.

A priviledge? I've being doing these thing's before you were around, a long time, Because I have responsibility.
But it appears, that this means nothing! it doesn't matter if I've done it before, come home safe, If it seem's unwelcome and not ok, then plainly I'm told I can't go. If I do get to go somewhere, I get told Hey, at least I let you. Because that makes me so lucky.

DO you know who really is the lucky person here? You. You're lucky I don't tell you to keep it under your tongue, you're lucky I follow your stupid rules, you're lucky i never stretch the leash.

You don't own me, but I let you control me. Why? Because you've built this false sense of "I Have to earn it" to get what I want.

But No, I don't. I've come to a very real, very true Ideal that I used to believe in. If I'm fine with it, I'll go and do it. Because I can trust my sense of judgement. and I'm no longer listening to yours.
You don't know what's best for me for everything. And what's best for me isn't necessarily the right thing.