You know, I would have thought the whole, Not drinking at James's thing, the uhh stopping myself from going to other parties, was more than enough to prove that I was putting my effort into this to be trusted again.
I thought honestly, it was all over, we can move on.
Well apparently I have a pre-planned baby sitter. Someone to look after me to make sure I don't do anything 'stupid'.
Well enough enough, the bargain of trust you see, is one side offers, the other side returns.
I've been offering for more than 2 months now. I have claimed no return.
Now now, trust has to be rebuilt, of course of course, But what is really the point when you realize you can trust someone again? when someone tells you i list of thing's they've done for you?
No, they can make that up, lie.
It's very easy to lie. I've lied my entire life through almost everything. It's my way of dealing with issues I can't deal with. I lie. But then if it's not what you do for someone to rebuild trust, what is it?
It's that they try. No I'm not saying it's the thought that counts, if someone tries, and actually wants to accomplish bettering themselves and achieves this, you know what that says? they give a damn about the person they are trying for, even if that person is them self.
You know what's not showing trust?
Telling you that you need to be babysat. That you need someone to follow you, record the thing's that you say, filter through your web messages, constantly ask why you haven't responded within a 2 hour period.
Trust doesn't get better over time. it's a ridiculous idea and people need to move on from that. Trust comes back when someone shows that they are trying, and accomplishing.
Witnessing it 5 times, to 20 times doesn't change anything. That first, one time, shows more than enough that they want what they once had.
Because if they didn't, if they thought this wasn't worth it, you know what you do?
You leave. you stop. If it isn't coming now, it isn't coming ever.
And I'm starting to realise that.
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