Oh hey there, it's been a bit quiet around here hasn't it? I'm sure you, the average supernet cat disciple of the anon have noticed that there hasn't been any updates for a while.
Why?
Have I fallen back into the Lazy habit of not giving a fuck?
Has life taken a steer divergent course from it's regular regularities?
Do open ended rhetorical questions ever come off as anything less than pretentious?
I'm pretty sure you've made this quip before.
Doesn't matter! I'm trying to sound distant and philosophical, I have my stage, and you have yours.
Well I didn't want to see you piss all over yourself before you got a chance to make up excuses as to your lack of engagement around here.
Awhh... did you miss me or something?
I.... No. .... shut up >.> weren't you here to say something?
I was, but you seemed to have engaged yourself in this conversation now. It was going to be a post directed to the audience about my recent 'revelation' in regards to dreaming.
So, I'm not going to stop you, proceed.
*sits awaiting to cast judgement*
Well, readers, I've reached a stage where I am now able to recall my dreams in the morning. At least well enough that If I think about it the moment I wake up (which requires me to usually wake up either just after, during a dream or have the dream be emotionally gripping enough that I remember it) I can recall more than 40 percent of the dream-
That's a pretty subpar performance in recollection you got there dude.
Baby steps guy, it's still a vast improvement over 50 shades of zip.
So waking up this morning (I had to come back here to mention it was yesterday morning by the time I wrote this point, why don't I just edit this shit out?), I was able to remember my dream, and through doing that, I was able to actually learn something in regards to the way I approach social situations with girls I am currently already familiar with.
Gripping, please tell me more.
I don't want to go into the details specifically on who, or what happened, as it most likely will be misconstrued as sub consciously wanting to go 'after' this person, and on reflection I Suppose that is how it started, fulfilling a small fantasy, or in this case a reenactment of one of my past relationships but set in present time.
That's an awfully long time to go without a full stop. I wonder if I'm the only one who noticed.
I'm sorry if he is coming off as tangential, it is late and I am rather tired. But what I realized upon waking up, was that before today, I had gone 350 days of the year on average not being capable of remembering my dreams.
So how is this a bad thing? Because you don't get to be superman in your sleep time?
No no no no no, ...well yes, but me trying to fly in a dream usually just results in me running across giant fields flapping my arms desperately trying to hover for more than a few mere seconds.
The thing about dreams, is they are an excellent way for you to internalize and manifest your real life issues, insecurities and faults in a safe place where you can't actually screw up anything you got going in the real world. This isn't the case for all dreams sure, some are just weird, or the result of so many different inputs conglomerated into a surreal orgy of ideas and perceptions you had of that day.
But sometimes, your dreams are as I stated before, a way for your sub conscious to put forward a present issue or threat to your life/well being, and allow you the opportunity to both try different methods of dealing with them, and let you react to the way you dealt with, and responded emotionally to the issues present in the dream.
This (Yeah it was here, have a medal) yesterday morning it was the latter of the two, I had a really lovely pleasant dream about being with someone I know I shouldn't be looking at in this certain way-
Being vague is just annoying, it was your ex of 5-6 years ago, and all you can remember at this point was the dream played out as if it was you were together. Date wasn't important or relevant, and it wasn't trying to ground itself in being realistic or believable. She jumped in your bed naked, you both rolled around giggling and talking like how you used to, or at least what you think you remember of this relationship. This dream then followed with some boring scenes of you just enjoying her company in various public locations.
-..Hey, I could have said all tha-
You then woke up, realizing that despite you thinking you were doing your best to not view her as anything potential, in regards to relationships or just more than friends, that with almost every female friend you have that you secretly like to have an afterthought of "would like this make her like me more".
You told yourself a few weeks ago if you 'chase' anyone and don't motivate yourself to do more with/for these girls as a friend, with friendly intentions other than your own selfish agenda of filling a 'hole' in your heart, that you are not going to be able to swoon anyone while you reek of desperation.
You know no one digs that.
Yes... Thank you..
I'm tired, wrap this up.
My point, was that in all the many times I overdo it in real life, I am able to blind myself to how overbearing I am being until it is far too late. Waking up from this dream let me realize how needy I was coming across, even to myself when all in all the dream went smoothly, there was no conflict.
I think this is what caused me to awake with a feeling of disdain about the way I got so happy to have something I know I didn't earn.
I had more to this but I believe I'm fatigued to a point where I'm struggling with basic short term memory. I hope I can come back and further explain what I mean.
Wrap. It. Up.
Wrap. It. Up.
Goodnight *yawn*
.
No comments:
Post a Comment