...Falling down the rabbit hole...
Back down the rabbit hole..... Wait what happened? No you said you were going to be 100 percent this morning!
Yeah, I was, I had a shower, Shaved, got dressed, started planning the day for today..
So what the fuck happened to kill all that buzz?
Well, really if I think about it. Nothing's actually changed.
But you're in a 'downer' of a mood, SOMETHING must have changed.
A friend of mine, who I was sort of fooling around with just clearly defined to me that she would never be interested.
But you already knew that, she's told you before, how is this any different?
Because... even though I made changes in my behaviour to be less over bearing about it, I still got a message this morning about how I still "don't get it".
I get it, that doesn't mean I like it...
Well you can't exactly influence what makes someone attractive to them.
Which is why I shouldn't be effected like this..
But you are.
Should I do a summary of why?
I dunno man, That's a lot of backstory you'd have to explain, most of it from a time when it's irrelevant and bringing it up just looks like bringing up old scars and history from people.
But, I thought I set out to do this blog explaining every aspect of my life, I mean I publicly displayed illicit activities online, on this blog, in the belief that I should be honest an-
It was really more of a "Wouldn't this blog be a great place for readers to find about you after you're famous? They can see what you were like when you were normal and poor like everyone else!
That's not really the reason is it?
I actually am not sure. But yeah it definitely feels like that was a possibility.
So whinging and moaning about relationships is a waste, are we on agreeance?
And the feeling lonely sometimes part too.
...Well I wasn't going to mention that :|
And now, it's there. Feel sorry, move on. What are you going to do to feel better?
My body feel's like it wants to crash into someone arms and just lay there...
Okay, something not desperate sounding and near impossible to achieve right now.
I wouldn't call it near impossible, just it'd have to be with a friend. it wouldn't be someone who viewed me more than that.
But, that's what you meant. Cuddling your female friends isn't the same as cuddling a partner, or someone who likes you more than a tad.
Yeah... Well I really need to shift this mood around.
You also need to be productive today.
Ha....
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