Discipline, Motivation & The Human Condition.

You know what's difficult?
Of course you do, you've been exposed to the world.

You know what's a struggle?
I'm sure your news feed has shared a story much more darker than yours.

Do you know why?
Why? Why what?

Why I'm being all philosophical with the open ended questions.
No, but believe me it's beginning to irritate me more than your capitalizing habit. Also I still don't see how why came fr-

Because, whe-
Wait, stop. I will let you finish, but first answer this, do you remember where you were originally going with this?

I-... Mostly do.
I Fucking knew it.

OBJECTION!!!
...what?

I had a whole thing typed out here, and somehow I managed to ctrl-z half this conversation.
I...You what? How the fuck did yo-

I have no Fucking idea! I spent a good amount of time on it too.
Well I would have as well. I don't recall this.

Because, I deleted it..
So? I should be able to remember.

Look, I can't really explain this to you right now without near causing an existential crisis.
So you do think I would have one?!

You've... changed....
What?

This was meant to be a serious blog. I was going to start posting about my weed addiction, and post up how I was going an-
Whoooahh whooahhh, You wanted to let out how much private information?

You were the one that suggested it?
That doesn't sound like me

See that's what I was saying. You've changed. I was the one sitting around feeling bad, and you were actively telling me what to do.
Again, none of this I recall. But I will say that I don't think I would have told you to tell everyone that you still smoke, and have been struggling to stop by yourself.

Hey, You said it not m-
You can't slink yourself away from this that easily. You're manipulating all of this.

I Don't like the way you use manipulate... but you're right, all of this is under my control.. I don't have voices respond or answer. It's always me discussing myself with me.
What happened to talking to friends and family?

We already discussed that, about how I felt and not wanting to be overbearing, plus the fact that I've been lying to some close friends about when I stopped. Since you know..
You didn't.

Yeah..
Well if you wanted this blog to help other people, why this format?

I'm going to say what do you mean, even though I do know what you're going to say. It feels like I'm more writing a novel..
It's meant to be a blog. I'm meant to be a blog, Everything you're doing i-

I thought we weren't making you my blog?
You can't even keep track anymore.
So did you want to do your original idea?

Making a Liveblog with Video Blog posts about me overcoming weed and motivational issues... I don't know.. I was so sure earlier..
Because in that space of time, you felt there was nothing else you could do/plan ahead.

Maybe. But I still want to do something. Take up my time with something beneficial to myself or others.
And is it that you feel that you are experienced enough to teach other's? You publicly make it sound like you can't even benefit yourse-

Wooahh, Again, Sudden change, What is with that?
You can't type it, but there's something that you wanted to do that is now being prevented.

It's smoke weed isn't it
Oh, You're so clever, knowing your own thoughts.

I will hopefully stop after this batch?
Yeah, Just like every other time...

Well Recording it should help motivate me I reckon.
Step 1.